ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
