I think my fart just growled at me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
