I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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