I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
