Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
