So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
