tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
