Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
