This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You're so nebulous sometimes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
