Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
