Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
