Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
