Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
