Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
