The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
