she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
