summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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