Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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