bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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