as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
