small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
