No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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