Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
