oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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