I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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