From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
