Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
