Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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