and you said cock pushups were impossible
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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