Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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