They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
