distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
