I'm so fucking centered right now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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