Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
