just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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