Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
