I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
