ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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