its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
