dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
