For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
