on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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