she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
