when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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