do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
