he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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