I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
