Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
