oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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