break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
